Blogilemma!

Blogs are very easy to create. It’s very easy. Trust me. You go to a blogging site, you create an account there, and you can begin blogging. You can. But is it easy?

That’s a nice question, eh?

I was browsing through this site, and it had a lot of ‘motivating’ sentences everywhere that often caught my eye. Feeling so pumped up to begin blogging, I thought to myself, ‘My hands are itching to start. I just can’t wait to begin blogging and announce my entry to the whole world. It’s so exciting. Oh! The amazing vistas that blogger opens for me! All I need to do is just begin blogging, eh? Just let me finish it!’

Apparently I was mistaken…

You can always create an account, and even create as many posts as you want to have! (Just don’t ask me how. Find it out for yourself!) But to post an article, oh my goodness! It’s a fright!

Look at me. It took me half an hour to get an account. But it’s actually taken me close to two years to get my first article posted. *bows with grace* Yes ladies and gentlemen, three years of perseverance, two accounts and umpteen number of posts which had died a ‘premature’ death. *I am spending a few minutes recollecting the sad fate of those posts I had mercilessly left to die*

Well even after such a long sad story of blogging failures, you can’t afford to blame me for it. Neither can you even think of labelling me - ‘A lazy goose. All that he knows would be to lounge around on a sofa all day, doing nothing.’ Or even something close to calling me a ‘couch potato’. (Er, did I say something now?) I’m actually rolling with laughter just thinking how would someone call ME a couch potato! Your Highness, your humble servant is 5’8” and he weighs only a modest 54kg. Rather than mourn about my thin frame, I’d rather be proud of my ‘graciously-given gift’ when I see scores of people line-up outside the gyms everyday to reduce their waistlines. Oh, the joy of being thin! (Well, that’s a different story, and we shall come to that later.)

To all you guys out there, who go on and on and on blogging as if you’ve never ever had any hiccups in your blogging history, blogging might sound very easy. Why, you might even say, “Oh, it’s just as easy as going and grabbing a drink from your fridge. It’s that easy, believe me man. I do it everyday! And, to think of posting only one article a day is also too tough for me. I rely on my instincts to blog.”

I like that word 'only' there. It’s fits there snugly, don’t you think?

*Please pass me a tissue, I’m broken* *sniff* *sniff*

But seriously, ask so many others who have spent sleepless nights thinking on what should be their first post. It is not an easy job. Take any newbie for instance, and the Blogilemma he faces, is not a joke. It’s The Worst Dent on his brimming confidence. The part which hurts the most is that he is unaware of the perilous battle with Blogilemma which he will have to face very soon. This is narrated as follows:

Would you like to create an account?
Oh wow! Goody Goody! I get to own an account!

It’s a blogging account, sire.
Never mind, never mind. It’s even better. Yes, I’ve heard about blogger. They’re owned by Google, isn’t it? Well, that’s lovely! Get me one. Get me one!

Your Highness, What should your post name be?
Oh that… um.. Let me see…. Er… How about, ‘The Golden Story’?

Sorry, that’s taken.
Oh sad… Try, ‘The Daily Read’?

Nope…

*he wakes up to the reality, with this question popping into his pea-brain*

Heck, if it’s that tough to create a post-name, then blogging is going to be _____!

*You can fill it up using as many words and as many letters as you can possibly think of. It depends on your taste of vocabulary, friend.*

And so, our dear Mr. Thinker gets a name for his post, and he settles himself comfortably into his couch. And he begins to think of a ‘Breaking Start’.

Let’s have a peep into his brain to see how he goes about it…

Let me organise myself first. What are my tastes? *a pile of them, tumble into his brain*

Oh wait! Wait! Not that fast. Let me prioritise them, in the order of… um… preference! *the tumbling pile slows down, but a few more, hitherto unknown ones, also manage to creep in*

Our Mr. Thinker sighs loudly and begins to sift through the huge pile.

This is one is good! Cookery! Ah! That’s something I’m very good at! Now, what shall I write about?

Like a flash screen, a few names scroll themselves on the blank sides of his wall and now we can find him sifting through them.

*Chinese cookery* - no, there’s got to be a million Chinese who are blogging there. I wouldn’t wish to be ‘repetitive’. *get the hint? He wants to post something that’s unique! If you would excuse me, I shall have a good laugh!*

*How to cook a sumptuous meal by yourself in 10 minutes* - I would love to learn how to cook that, but I can’t write.

*Home Secrets of Indian Cooking* - I got to call up my grandmother for that, and the phone is beyond my reach now. And anyways, there might be a few Indians too who are blogging by now.

He stirs himself up with the realisation that a post on cooking isn’t going to be easy. And he selects the next topic. What could that be?

It is teaching…

*My views as a teacher* - That might not be unique.

*How to handle a bunch of kindergarten imps* - That’s interesting. The last time I did handle them, I survived with a broken tooth, a pair of broken spectacles and a torn ledger. Ah, that bunch of freaks!

He decides to give up thinking. Apparently his brain is now over-heated…

Poor Mr. Thinker feeling exhausted after thinking hard and long decides to indulge himself in an Extra Large Bag of French Fries, and a bottle of Coke. He’s got his hands and stomach finally working right, folks. We can all leave him in peace now.

And www.blogger.com/start still waits for its user to sign in and begin his blogging. What a pity! If only it could have seen and heard how he thought hard to himself for a good start! *Sigh*

Thanks to the Blogilemma that every newbie faces, his plight will also be the same.

A sad… unpreventable… Vicious cycle…

*The curtains now draw to a close, and your humble servant, the Narrator steps onto the stage*

I think I’ve done enough to highlight the sad plight of thousands of potential bloggers for whom blogging successfully is still only a myth. No guides, no ‘how-to-blog’ or ‘tips-for-blogging’, can ever help them out. They have to fight Blogilemma. If they emerge victorious, they can realise their dream.

And as for me, I’m glad I’ve won that battle which had raged for two years. I’ve just published my first post.

Yes, I have posted. And boy! Am I glad to have finally begun!